The 5 Love Languages
Everyone expresses and experiences love in different ways. Gary Chapman says there are five love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch and acts of service.
You can find out your love language by taking the quiz, but more importantly, ask your husband to take the quiz too!
Michael and I learned about our love languages in college. We’ve taken the quiz throughout our relationship and have learned new ways to express our love. For the most part, our primary love languages have stayed the same, but sometimes the second love language changed. For example, during my first year of teaching, which any teacher knows is usually the hardest one of your career, I needed words of affirmation! When Michael told me how proud he was of my hard work, I felt immensely loved. One little sentence made all the difference!
There’s also languages of appreciation for the workplace, love languages for kids, and others. But we’ll just look at how it can help marriages.
Here are the 5 Love Languages:
1. Quality time:
Show your partner your love by spending time together.
Yes, this is giving them precious, uninterrupted time out of your busy day! Put down your phone, turn off Netflix and spend time with your husband. This is Michael’s love language, and I’ve learned it doesn’t mean staring into each other’s eyes and having deep conversations, although it can! Instead, do something together like take a walk, have dinner, or run errands together. You can also find a hobby you both enjoy.
2. Words of Affirmation:
Praise and words are important to your partner.
Simple compliments, expressing gratitude and positive comments about your husband’s personality traits are important. Point out when your husband is looking hot! Thank him for the little things he does throughout the day. Write notes to your husband or you can start a Love Note Journal. Remember your words have power, so think before you speak. You can also check out this post about cultivating gratitude in your marriage.
3. Receiving Gifts:
Giving a gift to your partner is the best way to show your love.
This is less about materialism and more about the thought you put into giving something to your husband. It shows that you considered your husband, and it’s a physical token of your love. Listen to your husband for hints of what to make or buy for him. Talk to his family and friends before special days. And be vigilant about keeping those special occasions on your calendar.
4. Physical Touch:
Your partner appreciates physical closeness and touch.
A hug, holding hands, and cuddling are ways you can express your love. This is my primary love language. It sounds silly, but even just sitting right next to your husband on the couch so you’re touching is an easy way to show you care. Carve out times in your day for a good long hug. Major bonus points for a back rub!
5. Acts of Service:
Thoughtful actions make your partner feel loved.
Taking a task off your husband’s to do list or doing a chore goes a long way. Saying “I’ll take care of that,” is saying you love him. If he asks for a favor, be sure to help him out, and write it down so that you will remember to do it.
Why should we know our love language?
Well for starters, you’re most likely to express your love using your own love language. For example if you’re a words girl, you’re likely to put in more effort praising your husband. But what if he appreciates acts of service the most? Knowledge is power my friend!
This also helps communicate your expectations. Telling your husband exactly how you feel most loved sets him up for success! If you tell your husband you’re a quality time girl, Valentine’s Day might mean a nice dinner rather than chocolates and a card. Although...I think chocolate a is part of every love language, right?
What's your love language? Leave a comment : )